BREAKING: Evidence Taken From Clinton Foundation Raid Missing

Two vans with yellow New York plates headed south towards Washington, DC vanished early this afternoon, along with four federal agents and all of the forensic evidence from the big bust at The Clinton Foundation. The FBI estimates the van would have been well into Maryland when it disappeared.

The VP of Operations for the Clinton Foundation, Sarah McManus, was arrested in the raid and was cooperating with authorities, but now that any evidence is gone, she has decided she knows nothing.

Authorities have issued statewide alerts for the four men and the two vans in 14 states across the Eastern Seaboard. The Clintons themselves are in upstate New York, enjoying a summer day at their Chappaqua compound.

In Colorado, authorities were tipped off that the vans were going to be a target when two game wardens who were helping to curb the mountain goat population by shooting them from helicopters came on two campers who traded the information for a pass on illegally poaching undersized rainbow trout.

The FBI also stated that any communications they had between agencies would have to be stretched out to at least 200 words to maximize advertising revenue, making it easier to convict the Clintons for wire fraud and copyright infringement under Title 17.

About Flagg Eagleton 138 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.