BREAKING: OJ Simpson’s New Job In Politics Will Make You FURIOUS

OJ Simpson, murderer, will get out of jail sometime after October 1st because we can’t seem to keep people who nearly behead their ex-wives in a fit of rage in jail these days. He won’t just walk away a free man at 70, he’ll walk straight into the world of politics and use his “experience” as a guide for young voters.

Say What? A guide for who? Who in their right mind would put a man who literally got away with murder in such a seat of power? None other than Barack Hussein Obama the traitor. The office at his new company, NOS Inc, responded to the report with a statement from Obama himself:

“Mr. Simpson is a living, breathing example of why black men should fear the system and police. He was convicted for getting his own stuff and he never touched a gun. In that same situation, a white man would have either gone feree or been given a slap on the wrist Mr. Simpson did nine years because odf the color of his skin.”

Simpson will be “Director of Inner City Youth Voter Outreach” at the ex-president’s company. NOS Inc, or “Novus Ordo Seclorum Incorporated,” is a “think tank” with a private security army of nearly 10,000 retired soldiers-turned-mercenary and an arsenal of small arms and armored vehicles worth nearly a billion dollars.

Simpson is walking into a cushy spot for the rest of his life. Looks like criminals take care of their own.

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About Flagg Eagleton 98 Articles

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.