BREAKING: Trump Calls Reporters In For Midnight Press Briefing

President Trump wants the press in the West Wing at midnight tonight to discuss the latest issue trending around Trump, which the administration now says they have incontrovertible truth of. 4A314 corrwespondent Cynthia Luwhoe was able to get this statement from White House Communications Director Lambsy Smietership, the famous Harvard Law Review editor who outsmarted Alan Dershowitz and proved OJ was guilty.

“While there was a lot of confusion about the issue in the first place, for Senator Schumer and Congresswoman Pelosi to outright lie like that is unacceptable and reprehensible. The evidence presented has put an end to the lies one way or the other and supports one simple conclusion:

President Trump was right all along. There’s no denying that now.”

When asked if the lies were enough to warrant an investigation or charges, the White House referred us to Trey Gowdy’s Committee to Convict Clinton. Gowdy says unless his committee can form a connection between the two that the information they have regarding the other issues with Hillary Clinton and Al Franken would have to take precedent.

What this all means for President Trump is that he’ll be able to go back in the room and look him in the eye with certainty and confidence that the liberals won’t be able to screw things up and offer a peace deal. If anyone can get that done, Trump can.

Meanwhile, North Korea is responding to the news exactly how you’d expect. They’re backing down. The Dollar is also up against the Yuan and the average retiree just learned today that their cost of living for the past 4 years is being adjusted and they’re getting a reconciliation in their next check.

All in all it’s a good day to be a Trump supporter.

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About Flagg Eagleton 98 Articles

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.