MICHIGAN: Muslim 7th-Grader Expelled For Bragging About His ‘First Suicide Vest’

Omar al Shalamahan-McGee of Dearborn Hills, Michigan never had a chance in life. His parents, a radical Muslim and a girl from South Boston with a wicked mean streak, have been grooming him to do what they believe he was brought into this world to do: kill infidels.

They probably would have succeeded in turning Omar into an adolescent monster had it not been for one of his friends turning him into the principal because he was “scared and concerned.” according to a spokesman for Buford Clay Elementary School:

“Omar obviously has a very troubled home life. He showed one of his closest friends a picture of his first suicide vest, which terrified the poor boy. He said Omar had gotten it for his 12th birthday and that he hoped to use it before his 13th.”

Police have arrested both parents and are holding them until Homeland Security can find a place for them, as they are now fully militarized enemy combatants operating on our own soil. Most likely they’ll just disappear since a real man is President now.

Child Services has taken custody of the boy who and placed him under 24-hour suicide watch. He is said to be “angry and distraught.” Of course he is. He’s a terrorist.

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About Flagg Eagleton 98 Articles

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.