Nancy Pelosi’s Daughter’s Death Ruled An Overdose

Nancy Pelosi’s daughter was in her third year at UCLA when she was found dead last night. Initial reports, as always, said she was most likely drugged and raped, even though there had been no word at all from the medical examiner. That word just came down, and liberals are not liking what they’re hearing:

“23-year-old Marsha Pelosi was pronounced dead last night at the scene outside her apartment. Contrary to reports from the libverasl media, there was no sign of foul play. Pelosi’s official cause of death is accidental heroin overdose.”

It’s understandable why someone like Nancy Pelosi would want to keep her own daughter’s sick behavior a secret. Rumor has it she was in a car accident and it was her mother who gave her the first oxycodone pills that sent her to her eventual death.

Friends from school say Pelosi had been going downhill for more than a year but that it was her family’s policy to shut her out. Marianna Leworsky told correspondent Art Tubolls:

“Her mom stopped taking her calls when she found out she was addicted. She offered her no help. Told her she was on her own. I mean…who does that to their own daughter?”

The Pelosi family is not responding to requests for a statement other than to ask for privacy during this difficult time. Sometimes it’s not easy to sleep in the bed you made.

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About Flagg Eagleton 115 Articles

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.