INSIDE SOURCE: Hillary Clinton Has Been Dead Since Wednesday

According to Leon Reilly, an intern at New England Medical Center, Hillary Clinton has been dead for more than three days. Reilly says he was “sequestered and read in” to a matter of National Security that demands “discretion.” He explains in his own words:

“It was 3 AM. There were 2 interns and a nurse on duty on our floor when the elevator opened and a woman was brought into the first room on the left, obviously unconscious with an EMT performing CPR. We sprung into action but it was too late. The resident didn’t respond in time and as the ony M.D. on the floor, I called the time of death at 3:21 AM.

It was Hillary Clinton. She had a massive coronary on a friend’s yacht in the Back Bay. Her Secret Service detail brought her here, where they could hide it on an empty floor in a teaching hospital. Then they threatened me and anyone else who witnessed what happened.”

Reilly says the threats worked until this morning when he realized that concealing Hillary Clinton’s death couldn’t be a matter of National Security. Who the hell is Hillary Clinton but some has been who lost an election? She has no job; no post in government. Whatever they’re hiding this for is for the benefit of the Democrats. There’s no other explanation for it.

We have, as of yet, been unable to independently confirm Clinton’s death. We can confirm that two EMTs, who have both been uncooperative, called in a run to Tufts that night but recorded no person, condition or action taken. They just…drove to the hospital for no reason. The Clinton camp is reporting that Hillary Clinton is alive and well and having clam chowder from Legal Seafoods in Boston with a friend.

Lies. All lies.

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About Flagg Eagleton 115 Articles

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.