BREAKING: Alabama Secretary Of State Leaks Results Of Provisional And Military Ballots

With pressure mounting on the Alabama Secretary of State’s Office to confirm the outcome of the special election between Roy Moore and Doug Jones, a backdoor leak seems to have opened up that sheds some light on where the election stands. An aide to Secretary Jim McCarrol, on condition of anonymity, leaked an official document with the tally of the military and provisional ballots, with 100 percent reporting:

“Dear sir,

In the matter of Doug Jones v Roy Moore, the completed tally of military and provisional ballots is complete. The final total is 4,106 votes for Roy Moore and 17,209 votes for Doug Jones. Exit polling indicated that military personell don’t take kindly to what they described as ‘open pedophilia.’ We expect to certify the election for Jones early in 2018.

Thank you for your patience,


This was an outcome we’ve been expecting since it was revealed that 70 percent of the voting military in Alabama are blacks. Jones had an unfair advantage all along. How long will it be before they realize that most of these guys already voted with their civilian drivers’ licenses? Now they want to give them a second vote with their military IDs?

The whole military and provisional system should be scrapped and they should throw away all the fraudulent black votes in Birmingham and Mobile. Maybe then we’ll see true democracy, southern style.

About Flagg Eagleton 136 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.