UPDATE: Loretta Lynch’s Pilot Dimitri Noonan Is Alive

Dimitri Noonan has become somewhat of an internet legend. Earlier this year, a story surfaced that said the pilot of Loretta Lynch’s plane, Dimitri Noonan, was ready to testify about what he heard on the tarmac in Baltimore when he mysteriously disappeared. Another story later claimed that he had turned up dead.

Then the unthinkable happened to the journalists who tracked down such an incredible story: Liberal lie machines like Snopes and Politifact started “debunking” the story, calling it and Dimitri Noonan “fake news” written by a site that was all of a sudden declaring itself “satire.”

We have news for you, Snopes…we know you’re a liberal lie machine and satire has to be funny.

So Noonan was relegated to the land of links, where truth-telling conservatives share a story that is suddenly no longer true to liberals who toss a link to Snopes back at them and the dichotomy continues. Meanwhile, Loretta Lynch and Bill Clinton get to walk away scot-free and ready to rule over some more organized criminal activity.

Noonan, who is not some fictional character on a page with a clearly-labeled “satire” disclaimer at the bottom, will be under the protection of the US Marshals until he can testify before Trey Gowdy’s Committee to Convict Clinton, which reconvenes shortly after Christmas.

About Flagg Eagleton 136 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.