REPORT: Obama, Soros And The Dems Ordered The Shutdown To Stage A Coup

Barack Obama, George Soros, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer; all of these people have worlds to gain by ordering the Democrat party to stand down and allow the federal government to shut its doors. A startling report from the United States Secret Service is raising eyebrows all over Washington and the world:

“Be advised that actionable intel has been gathered from those friendly to ‘Juicer’ suggesting the possibility of a military coup against POTUS. Service policy dictates that those attatched directly to POTUS remain by his side to the bunker while all others secure the grounds of the White House. Anyone not already inside the building when a coup lockdown occurs is considered the enemy and will be shot on breach of the outer gate.”

That’s a pretty serious directive. “Actionable intelligence means they’ve deemed it to be serious. “Juicer” is the Secret Service codename for Kellyanne Conway. Trump ordered himself to be referred to as “POTUS” only after the first two, Cheeto and Big Mac, came across as insulting.

The Secret Service is on hyper-alert and the President is working from the private study in the residence, which has it’s own escape route to the bunker. More than 4 dozen snipers have roosted on the White House roof and the Washington DC airspace has been shut down to all military and civilian aircraft with the exception of normal flights to Dulles and Marine 1.

The report is being kept under wraps to avoid a “national panic.” According to Secret Service spokeswoman Sandy Batt:

“The leaked report is no different from the dozens of other we act on every day. The sources have been identified and we will deal with the situation if it arises. The President is safe.”

Batt says what she really worries about is what the Secret Service refers to as “taters,” or people who will blindly show up in Washington with their guns to “protect the President.” Batt said:

“Some of the President’s supporters are all-too enthusiastic to rush into battle against the small army Obama and the globalists have amassed around the area. In the unlikely scenario he hopped in a Humvee to lead an assault on Washington, a lot of innocent people who thought they were doing some good will die.”

Sorry, Sandy, but if the “taters” are called to action, action is where we’ll go. Deplorables Unite!

About Flagg Eagleton 138 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.